Greeting from the Blotters Blog Horrorscope.
May you have a week of affluence that is copiously full of opulence!
Please remember that this is all in good fun.
Pisces
February 20 - March 20
You are going to have a stagnant day! Oh dear SIGN! You better get a move on!
Todays light will be one that is Screams for the harvest
Your night will be Bountiful like yonder waifus bosom as it bounces boobily while she runs
Yesterdays moon was one that was Stoned as one that has gazed upon Medusa without her permission
No more waiting with baited breath as Your lucky numbers are said to be 55, 61, 86, 14, 63, 54, 15
Aries
March 21 - April 20
Anger and wrath to salvage your day of Hell as everything burns to the ground around you.
Todays light will be one that is Missing and listed on local milk boxes
Your night will be a day when The Swamp Hag has cursed you
Yesterdays moon was one that was Blinking like a it has a faulty connection
Be alert! Your lucky numbers are said to be 19, 62, 43, 57, 8, 77, 92
Taurus
April 21 - May 21
Such a shame SIGN! Your day looks like it's going to be DAY. Better luck next time!
Todays light will be one that is Empty like the void in the empty ribcage that can be found in the woods.
Your night will be full of the fury of the ages
Yesterdays moon was one that was Partial
One day your lucky numbers will win a lottery. 2, 20, 32, 79, 97, 56, 21
Gemini
May 22 - June 21
Congratulations SIGN! Your day is like it is going to be a day when The Swamp Hag has ditched you on your date and left you with the very large bill! Isn't that a gas?
Todays light will be one that is Wistful like a gentle summer storm
Your night will be lost in translation
Yesterdays moon was one that was Waxed like a fresh bikini line
Better keep an eye out on the counter tonight! Your lucky numbers are said to be 13, 87, 56, 68, 80, 37, 73
Cancer
June 22 - July 22
You are going to have a day as cold as the coldest heart of the most wretched soul you know! Oh dear SIGN! Better to take it nice and slow and not rush into any hasty conclusions.
Todays light will be one that is Bountiful like a bosom
Your night will be one that the stars have bequeathed unto you
Yesterdays moon was one that was willfully ignorant
Here, have these as they have been bequeathed unto you. 52, 8, 82, 70, 98, 15, 28
Leo
July 23 - August 22
Such a day that is snarling like a savage cat the never got enough treats when it was a kitten SIGN is going to have! May the gods have mercy on you.
Todays light will be one that is Haunting as the fall calibrations of fun and is full of whimsy
Your night will be Hell because you know you did the thing but you still will question yourself for the rest of the day
Yesterdays moon was one that was Envy of a kitten taking a nap in the warm sunbeam
But don't worry, your lucky numbers are said to be 69, 41, 24, 73, 23, 61, 64
Virgo
August 23 - September 23
By the stars and their light! SIGN your terribly full of stress day is going to be full of chaos!
Todays light will be one that is Heaven like the first taste of your favorite meal
Your night will be Bountiful as the harvest moon
Yesterdays moon was one that was Harvest
Look left! Look Right! And here arn't your lucky numbers a sight? Your lucky numbers are said to be 66, 76, 19, 96, 88, 80, 30
Libera
September 24- October 23
Our sincere condolences SIGN! Your day is going to be a day of cursing the elders! Good luck!
Todays light will be one that is Spooky like the cutest little kitten
Your night will be Good like the warmth of the first sip of your favorite hot drink
Yesterdays moon was one that was Hungry like the wolf
You lucky numbers seem to be 16, 95, 50, 92, 17, 22, 28
Ophiuchus
November 29 - December 18
Oh what horrifying luck! For SIGN your day is going to be foggy.
Todays light will be one that is as Mysterious as the women in the shadows
Your night will be eaten by squirrels
Yesterdays moon was one that was Wistful for a time when it can relax
Little lucky numbers that are said to be 48, 33, 23, 96, 28, 29, 58
Scorpio
October 24 - November 22
Our sincere condolences SIGN! Not only will the chihuahua not tell you of it's sacred tacos but your day is going to be bountiful as the harvest moon!
Todays light will be one that is full of envy
Your night will be rainy with a chance of unicorns
Yesterdays moon was one that was ravenous & lustful
Lucky numbers for you! 2, 95, 8, 40, 87, 88, 20
Sagittarius
November 23 - December 21
Such a day that Hell falls asleep and lets today move on by without it, so SIGN is going to have fun! The gods cheer for you.
Your night will be grave
Yesterdays moon was one that was Famished because it needs sustenance
Be not afraid! For your lucky numbers are as follows! 13, 84, 11, 31, 39, 74, 99
Capricorn
December 22 - January 20
Congratulations SIGN! Your day is looking like to be so-so? Such a shame.
Todays light will be one that is Spooky like a goth girlfriend
Your night will be Hell as everything burns to the ground around you
Yesterdays moon was one that was Full of cheese
May these numbers find you lucky. 28, 22, 30, 15, 62, 72, 11
Aquarius
January 21 - February 19
Our sincere condolences SIGN! The winds have advised that your day is going to be a DAY!
Yesterdays moon was one that was Full of cheese.
Your night will be as Bountiful as the feast of the ancient on their day of naming.
Yesterdays moon was one that was fantastic like the poles in reverse order.
But don't worry, your lucky numbers are said to be 20, 5, 80, 85, 78, 55, 36
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